Om Swami
How do I cope with the pain and hurt when my marriage is falling apart?
Step back from the pain
When someone gives you grief and you feel hurt, take a step back if you can and ask who in you is feeling the pain. Some grief you can get over in life and some you can't. When you can't, be aware that you are going through this emotion and don't fight it.
At that time, be aware that you are going through this emotion and that getting over it is not in your hands right now. That awareness will soften it and dilute it.