Om Swami
How do I tell someone who hurt me that their words or actions hurt, without making things worse?
Say what hurt you, without attacking
When someone hurts you, don't react. Tell them how you felt hurt without raising your voice or attacking. If you don't raise your voice they will listen, but if you speak disrespectfully, shout or attack, they go on the defensive.
If you don't raise your voice, they will listen to you. But the moment you talk disrespectfully, raise your voice or attack, they will not listen to you.